


Crowley has feelings

by nighttime_stars



Series: Writers month aug 2019 [13]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Canon Compliant, Crowley-centric (Good Omens), Feelings, M/M, No Dialogue, Slightly Non-Linear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-19 04:07:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20203450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nighttime_stars/pseuds/nighttime_stars
Summary: Crowley had never really been a good angel or demon. The main reason is that he felt too much





	Crowley has feelings

**Author's Note:**

> For day 13: feelings

As an angel, Crowley mostly felt curious. He wanted to be involved and enjoyed building things for the new universe; he particularly took pride in crafting Alpha Centauri. He was happy… mostly, until he couldn’t bear to leave some things unquestioned.

“Why does the Great Plan have to end in destruction and war? What is the point of building something only to destroy it as means to an end?”

He didn’t get any answers; all he got was a one-way ticket to hell and a new job as a demon. 

During the first few years, Crowley was bored and slightly bitter. The only relief from these feelings came from when he ran into Aziraphale. Yes, the angel was a bit naïve sometimes but he was nice and the only friend Crowley had.

(Still, Crowley was annoyed at how quickly he fell in love)

Crowley had always been amazed at how ingenious and cruel humans could be when given the opportunity. He never even bothered to lift a finger and they were thinking things up like the guillotine.

During the 1970s, he made the M25 into a sigil in an attempt to earn some of the credit he had received over the years. He didn’t succeed in that aspect but it did cement his habit of thinking outside the box when it came to tempting humanity.

In the lead-up to the non-apocalypse, Crowley felt frantic. When their plan A failed and they couldn’t find the actual anti-Christ, all he wanted was to run away with Aziraphale. It wouldn’t be as good as being together on earth but the angel’s presence was more than enough for Crowley.

He would never admit out-loud how much it hurt when Aziraphale rejected his offer.

Only twice in his entire existence has Crowley ever been truly scared.

The first time was a low-level fear that never went away. Of course, he knew that _fraternising_ with an angel could land him in some hot water with hell. Along with performing miracles for the angel and saving said angel’s life, he would be in a lot of trouble if the higher-ups found out.

So he wanted insurance, a way to protect himself when shit hit the fan. In the end, that fear was justified because he did use the holy water, on the other hand though, he did regret how his request made Aziraphale angry at him for a while.

The second-time he felt true fear was when he went into the burning bookshop and couldn’t find Aziraphale. That fear was not low-level; the terror he felt was overwhelming. Add that to the all-encompassing grief, Crowley was not surprised he gave up.

Nothing could compare to the sharp relief and joy he felt when he found out that the angel was alright.

It took a while for Crowley to realise that he felt content with his life. He didn’t know what the future held now that the world didn’t end but he was happy to be spending the rest of eternity with Aziraphale at his side.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this without a plan or even idea where I was going but I hope its still enjoyable (and hopefully readable). I am planning a companion piece which will be posted Aug 15th that explores Aziraphale in a similar style (though probably planned out)
> 
> Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated. My tumblr is randomwriter2002 and I am always open for talking/requests


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